


255 Big Bang Burger Challenges in Under a Year

by DeliciousCoffee_Ren



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 255 Big Bang Challenges, Big Bang Burger Challenge, Gen, Thicc Challenge, This is just for laughs, based on my accurately named 'thicc playthrough', don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeliciousCoffee_Ren/pseuds/DeliciousCoffee_Ren
Summary: In all honesty, there were a few reasons he wanted to do this challenge.One, the very obvious reason to start with was that this would help him grow his guts stat up, even though he was fairly certain it was close to max… whatever that meant.Two, he was just genuinely curious to see what exactly the challenge looked like and how well he would do. He hadn’t really ever seen anyone do a food challenge except for those click bait videos on YouTube.And three, he had set a challenge of his own and that was to do the Challenge at any possible time he could. Just how many Challenge burgers would he do by the end of the year?
Kudos: 2





	255 Big Bang Burger Challenges in Under a Year

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly fic that I said I'd write after I finished my Thicc playthrough of P5R. 
> 
> This will be based upon vanilla end as this assumes he doesn't do ANYONE'S confidant throughout the entire year.
> 
> I, also, honestly didn't expect myself to make this chaptered as I just thought this was going to be a one-shot, but take it however you will. I hope you like it! (Please excuse any mistakes that you may see, I haven't had this beta-read.)

When Morgana had said that he had needed to grow some guts, he didn’t exactly think it was in a way that would trouble his physique. Of course, Morgana seemed to know a lot more than he was letting on, but in the end it all basically meant eating this tower of a burger (exaggeration, he hadn’t even met the disastrous, last level burger yet, this was still the one storey house burger) was for the greater good.

In fact, the moment he had said that he was going to take the challenge, the hostess behind the register gave him the most judgemental look (which was amazing considering the rumours floating around the school) he had seen, giving a quick up and down glance at him and then motioning to a table near the window, in the centre of two occupied booths.

Did she do that on purpose? Have him do the challenge in front of other people so they could laugh at him when he would evidently fail. That just had to be her plan. Yet he knew that wouldn’t happen, he was totally, absolutely sure that he would get through this easily, no sweat at all.

“No regrets, Joker?” Morgana’s petite head broke out of the bag, once he had placed it on the opposite seat from his. There was no way he was going to sit facing the window, it was bad enough he had three people already watching him, he didn’t want to see what kind of audience would look through the window.

“Oh, I have plenty of regrets, Morgana,” Ren replied, sitting upon the seat and awaiting his inevitable death by burger, “I can safely add this to that ongoing list.”

“Is that what you write in that journal of yours?” Morgana tilted his head to the side, moving the bag slightly off balance.

“Not originally, but now I will if I’m going to be eating this every day,” He reached into his front pocket to take out the black book that Sojiro had given him a day after he had arrived. Flicking through a few pages, he reminisced about the twenty odd occasions of him sleeping before finding out, from a rather hungry student on the train, about the start of Big Bang Burger’s Challenge.

In all honesty, there were a few reasons he wanted to do this challenge.

One, the very obvious reason to start with was that this would help him grow his guts stat up, even though he was fairly certain it was close to max… whatever that meant.

Two, he was just genuinely curious to see what exactly the challenge looked like and how well he would do. He hadn’t really ever seen anyone do a food challenge except for those click bait videos on YouTube.

And three, he had set a challenge of his own and that was to do the Challenge at any possible time he could. Just how many Challenge burgers would he do by the end of the year?

The waitress returning with the first level burger was what snapped him out of his thought process. He scooted back in his seat as she approached, as if to take in the sight of just how big this burger was.

The colossal slob of meat that was sandwiched between equally as large hamburger buns stunned him. If this was only the beginning, what was there at the end?

He watched her lower the food tray down onto the table and back away, she clapped her hands and smiled, “Thank you for taking the Big Bang Challenge. This is your first time, yes? Your starting rank will be Third Mate. Thus, your aim will be the… Comet Burger!”

Ren looked down at the extremely round burger that lay in front of him. He was suddenly having second thoughts. Perhaps this was a terribly bad idea. Surely there were other ways to grow his guts that didn’t have to include eating such a grotesque mass of food. Yes, he certainly could add this to his regrets list unless he just up and fled right now, but that would just be a waste of 1,500 yen.

He was the leader of the Phantom Thieves. There was no way some stupid Big Bang Burger Challenge was going to defeat him.

“This is a lot bigger than I was expecting…” He heard Morgana whisper within the shaking bag.

“Well then, it’s time to get the thirty-minute Big Bang Challenge started! Ready…”

Ren felt the colour drain from within himself as he watched the waitress pull out her phone and ready up the stop watch on it. Oh well, there was no quitting now.

“Go!”

He picked up the burger as he heard a whistle go off, opened his jaw the widest it could go and took a chunk out of it, or at least he hoped it was a chunk because it certainly felt like it as he tasted mainly lettuce from the bite he had taken. There was so much lettuce on it that the burger had already become cold and that already made him want to desperately stop.

“Just work at your own pace, Ren, I’m sure you’ve got this,” Morgana commented, popping out through the zipper of the bag as the waitress walked away.

Ren hoped Morgana didn’t expect a reply because there was no way he was going to be able to talk with his mouth as full as it was with meat, cheese, tomato, lettuce, mustard and ketchup.

He continued on as best he could without thinking about what the burger tasted like because after what felt like the 100th bite, it tasted bland and boring. He supposed the small sachet of fries would probably help with his taste buds, but he didn’t feel like eating anymore than he had to. The iced water helped tremendously, however, refreshing his palate every time he took a sip through the small red straw.

After what felt like an eternity (but was actually only twenty-seven and a half minutes), the food tray was empty aside from the small crumbs that lay upon it and the fries that he hadn’t touched.

Ren rolled his neck around and sighed, relaxing back into the chair and just overall glad the monster of a burger was out of his sight. He wondered if he’d actually even be able to leave the seat, he felt so heavy as to move would just completely ruin the peace he had formed with his body just by sitting against the back rest of the booth.

Morgana looks at him with wide, happy eyes and nodded, “You did it!”

Ren simply nodded, no energy left in him to make a full response… that and he didn’t exactly feel well.

The waitress returned to the table holding onto what appeared to be a brown paper bag with the Big Bang Burger logo on it.

“Oh no…” He groaned, not ever wanting to see a burger ever again.

“To the burger baron who defeated this challenge, we present to you…” She announced in the peppiest, happiness tone known to Ren’s ears (though, in his honest opinion, Ann still beat her out on all of that, despite her acting skills) and placed the bag upon the table, “Our world-famous Big Bang Burger, on the house!”

Ren could smell the processed meat and cheese that came from the bag and closed his eyes, wishing he was any place, even Mementos, and not in this fast food restaurant. He decided it would probably be in his best interest to see how many they’ve given him, adding it to the growing list of items he would take to the Metaverse.

 _Three._ Three Big Bang Burgers, on the house.

He gave a small nod as he looked back up to the waitress, forcing a smile onto his face, “Thanks.”

She just absolutely beamed at him, twirled around on her tip toes and left. He’s not entirely sure what’s up with that reaction, he can’t exactly say he looked any bit attractive right now, slouching in the uncomfortable, yellow seat.

“Those could come in handy,” Morgana commented as if totally not aware of Ren’s thought process.

_“Wow, he actually did it.”_

_“Amazing that a kid of his structure could actually fit something like that into his body.”_

_“OK.”_

Ah yes, whispers fill his ears once again, at least he’s glad they aren’t the complete judgemental type such as the ones believing him to carry a knife (he does, but it’s a little plastic knife he had grabbed from the cafeteria one day) and of all the many crimes he had, apparently, committed (the most crime he had ever committed was stealing that plastic knife). It’s quite nice having whispers about him that aren’t on a personal level, he just kind of wished it wasn’t about some stupid, big burger.

“Come on, we should head home. I’m full just watching you…” The cat said, sinking his head back into the bag and awaiting to be picked up.

Ren rolls his eyes, the cat has no idea how he’s currently feeling right now and never will, but he disregards the thought and gives a small shrug, standing up ever so slowly and proceeding to exit the place he would rather never see again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to see some highlights of my Thicc playthrough, I have a playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLx1SaZrGRtuslRrzE31UMUQA7oOnKtE0j.


End file.
